Anger is a natural emotion, but if left unchecked, it can harm relationships and create a tense home environment, let’s talk about how to handle anger—without resorting to the classic "If I hear pim!" or "I will show you pepper!"
1. Watch Your Mouth (Yes, Even When Your Child Breaks Your Last Plate)
Words in a home can either settle a fight or start World War III. If you want your children to learn how to control their anger, start by checking how you talk—especially when that pot of rice starts burning because someone forgot to lower the gas.
Respect starts with you. If you and your spouse argue like politicians during a debate, don’t be surprised when your kids settle their fights like WWE wrestlers.
Treat verbal abuse as seriously as physical abuse. We all know words can cut deeper than a razor blade. Instead of saying “You this coconut head, you will never hear word!” try “That was not a wise decision. Let’s talk about it.” (Even though we both know your inner Nigerian parent is itching to say more.)
Teach kids to express feelings, not throw insults. Instead of “Mummy, is a thief!” teach them to say, “I felt bad when Junior took my biscuit without asking.”
2. Establish Discipline in Advance
Discipline in most Nigerian homes are usually instant—sometimes before you even understand what you did wrong. ("Mummy, why did you flog me?" "You will know when you grow up.") But to truly teach children, it helps to set rules before chaos erupts.
Daddy and Mummy should write down house rules together. Let the kids know what is acceptable and what will earn them a long "kneel down and raise your hands" session.
Decide punishments ahead of time. If your child breaks a rule, let them face a consequence that makes sense. No need to declare “No food for you till next year!” when they misbehave.
Consistency is key. If today, breaking a rule gets them one warning, but tomorrow it earns them five strokes of koboko, they will be confused.
Let your discipline be firm but fair.
3. Keep Short Accounts
Anger is like egusi soup left out overnight during this heat weather—if you don’t deal with it quickly, it will spoil and stink up the whole place.
Resolve fights before bedtime. The Bible even says, "Don’t let the sun go down on your anger." If your children see you settle arguments quickly, they will learn to do the same.
Show forgiveness. If your spouse forgets to send you the urgent 2k you requested, don’t use silent treatment. Model grace for your children.
Teach them to let things go. Life is too short to stay angry over who got the bigger piece of chicken at Sunday lunch.
The Moral of the Story
A peaceful home is not built on shouting competition but on respect, discipline, and quick forgiveness. If we want to raise kids who can manage their temper, we must first show them how it’s done. So, next time anger starts bubbling, take a deep breath, ignore the urge to reach for your slippers (you know what I mean), and apply these temper tamers.
Because at the end of the day, a home where tempers are in check is a home where everybody enjoys their jollof in peace.
