“Uncontrollable anger leads to losing our temper, frightening facial expressions, bullying tone and eventually repels connection with our children. Stop it!”
— Tunde Adesida
As parents, we all have moments when frustration bubbles up. The noise, disobedience, or chaos of raising children can easily trigger anger. But what happens when anger begins to control us instead of us controlling it?
The Silent Damage of Anger
When we yell or speak harshly, our children may stop listening, not because they are stubborn, but because they are scared. Our angry expressions, raised voices, and harsh tones can make them feel unsafe. Over time, they learn to avoid us rather than open up to us. The home becomes a place of fear instead of connection.
Why It Happens
Anger usually hides something deeper like stress, exhaustion, fear, or even guilt. Many parents react out of frustration because they feel unheard, overwhelmed, or disappointed. Recognizing this is the first step to change.
What to Do Instead
1. Pause before reacting. Take a deep breath, walk away if needed. Silence is better than words said in anger.
2. Name your feelings. Saying, “I’m upset right now; give me a minute,” teaches your child that emotions can be managed, not unleashed.
3. Apologize when you slip. Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t make you weak—it models humility and restoration.
4. Pray or reflect before discipline. Ask God for calmness and wisdom. Correction should come from love, not rage.
5. Build emotional awareness. Notice your triggers. If you often lose your temper after work, plan quiet time before engaging with your kids.
The Power of Calm
When we stay calm, our children feel seen and safe. They are more likely to respect us and follow our guidance willingly. Calm parents raise emotionally secure children.
Let’s choose connection over control, patience over punishment, and grace over anger. Because every time we respond with calm, we teach our children how to do the same.
